


Back to the Land of the Living

by Mayarene Rose (Paradise_of_Mary_Jane)



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Humor, the one where Gotham is very done with weird stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 10:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13949244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradise_of_Mary_Jane/pseuds/Mayarene%20Rose
Summary: It’s not the first picture the paparazzi caught of Jason. Hell, it’s not even the first time they caught of him with other members of the family. It is, however, the first time they finally looked at the big, bulky guy sometimes caught around Gotham’s ‘first family,’ and thought, ‘huh, that guy kinda looks like Wayne’s dead kid if he actually got a chance to reach past fifteen.’In Jason’s opinion, it’s about damn time.





	Back to the Land of the Living

**Author's Note:**

> just a short, silly thing I wrote. Imagine this is a universe where Jason fully get alongs with his family again.  
> What timeline is this in, you may ask? To which my answer would be: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“This is a problem,” is what Bruce says when the article comes out, which, Jason being the person that he is, vehemently disagrees with, just to be a little shit.

It’s not the first picture the paparazzi caught of Jason. Hell, it’s not even the first time they caught of him with other members of the family. It is, however, the first time they finally looked at the big, bulky guy sometimes caught around Gotham’s ‘first family,’ and thought, ‘huh, that guy kinda looks like Wayne’s dead kid if he actually got a chance to reach past fifteen.’

In Jason’s opinion, it’s about damn time.

He leans back into the manor’s drawing room couch, throwing down the magazine with Vicki Vale’s article with a snort. He makes it a point to spend as little time in the manor as humanly possible while still being there enough to annoy the fuck out of his siblings. Right now, he’s here because watching everyone’s reactions is too hilarious.

Bruce looks like someone stole his three cups of morning coffee, complete with absolute rage and complete and utter exhaustion that comes with caffeine withdrawal and a total of three hours of sleep for the past three days. Jason can’t wait for the rest of the family to get here. He hopes Babs is taking pictures.

Bruce doesn’t say anything. Bruce Wayne is very good at not saying anything but still saying something.

“You know it’s gonna spread like wildfire now, right? There’s no stopping this.” Dick’s much better at talking Bruce out. Jason is probably the worst person to be talking Bruce out. Somehow, he’s still stuck doing it. “You can’t stop this.”

“You don’t care?”

Jason shrugs. He’s getting better at this, talking instead of shooting. Not being angry all the time. It’s doing wonders for him. And he finds it fucking hilarious how people, even family, are just plain shocked when he doesn’t automatically fly into a rage. Keeps them on their toes. “Doesn’t change anything,” he says.

Doesn’t really matter whether Jason’s legally dead or alive. He’s still going to do whatever the fuck he wants to do.

Bruce’s lips thin. Jason almost wants to laugh out loud. He wonders what Bruce would think of his Twitter account that he started when he first heard the news that he was once again officially in the land of the living.

He also wonders how people would have reacted if he started the Twitter a couple of years ago.

“Don’t think too much about it,” he tells Bruce, which is the most futile statement Jason Todd’s ever said in his life, and yes, he’s counting that time he asked Bruce to kill the Joker. “It’s gonna blow over soon.”

 

\--

 

**Jason**

@jasontodd

Yes it’s me. I really did die. Got better. It’s Gotham. Is anyone really surprised? #surprise

 

\--

 

It doesn’t blow over soon. It doesn’t really blow over so much as it as blows so hard it turned into a friggin hurricane. He’s having lunch with Dick when the paps finally manage to ambush him. Jason has been successfully avoiding them for two whole weeks and maintains that he would have gone on for much longer had Dick not betrayed him.

Jason should know better than to agree to have any sort of interaction with Dick Grayson by now. Especially when it comes out of nowhere. They never end well for Jason.

Dick just grins at him. Jason glares and wonders if he can get away with jumping out a second-story window.

“You’re an ass,” he tells Dick. “You and all your descendants will regret this.”

Dick just laughs and throws an arm over his shoulder. “You have five years of media attention to catch up to, Li’l Wing. Live and suffer through them, like the rest of us.”

Jason snarls. “How is it people think you’re the nice one?” he demands.

“It’s all part of my evil plan,” Dick says before pushing him towards the waiting sea of mics.

Jason absolutely does not panic. He does, however, jump out the second storey window.

 

\--

 

**Jason**

@jasontodd

I did a lot of rock climbing and rappelling when I was away. You seriously do not want to know.

 

\--

 

“Is this better?”

Jason is pretty sure by now that Cass is just messing with him. Mostly because she’s a little shit like that, and also because it’s the fifth dress she’s shown him in ten minutes and he honestly cannot tell the difference anymore.

He also know that she’s just waiting for him to snap. This is payback for that thing in patrol three nights ago which he is absolutely not sorry for. He is not going to snap. Jason Todd does not lose, and he does not apologize.

“It looks exactly the same to me,” he deadpans. He thinks he sees Cass’ lips twitch.

“I will try on more,” she says. “So many dresses here. So hard to choose.”

Jason twitches. “Go right ahead,” he says.

Cass tilts her head, and yes, her lips definitely twitched a fraction of a millimeter. Jason really hates his siblings, most of the time.

“Is there a problem?” she asks, a bit too innocently.

Or he thinks. The thing with Cass is that she literally gives nothing away or when she does she does it deliberately. It’s more than enough to drive a guy insane.

“No,” he says, hoping she doesn’t notice the way his voice catches in his throat. Just slightly.

“Okay,” Cass says and she turns back to the dressing room, carrying about five dresses with her. Jason is instantly suspicious. Cass is infinitely patient but also incredibly deadly. She plays the long game but all her blows count.

Right now, it feels like her blows aren’t counting. At least not in the way Jason notices. He is definitely missing something.

It’s three hours later and twenty dresses later when Jason realizes what Cass’ actual end game was. He just happens to check his phone and notices that he has about a million messages from everyone and…

“You’ve been selling pictures of me to Instagram?!” His voice absolutely does not come out as a shriek. It does not.

Cass grins, completely unapologetic. “Distracting you,” she says. “Babs taking pictures.”

Jason wonders, for a brief, fleeting moment, if he can get away with shooting her? It’s a sibling tradition, isn’t it? He’s shot at the rest of them. It’s practically how he shows affection. He  can’t just leave his sister out of it.

Then, he remembers that it’s Cass, and that will not end well for him in any way possible.

“I hate all of you,” he says.

"I love you very much, too."

 

\--

 

## 23 Times the Newly Alive Wayne Did Not Care About Gender Standards

 [...]

Comments 

 

> **Vernon Waid**
> 
>  lol do people actually believe he came back to life
> 
>  
>
>> **Adrian Summers**
>> 
>> yeah
>> 
>> **Jackie Miles**
>> 
>> bruh have you been to gotham or metropolis or central? its just a thing in the us
>> 
>> **Elsa Tucker**
>> 
>> yes.
>> 
>> **Lorenzo Atkins**
>> 
>> pretty sure green lantern was dead like two weeks ago saw him run into a bilboard today lmao
>> 
>> **Margarita Reyes**
>> 
>> are americans okay?

 

 

> **Kenneth Lambert**
> 
> so the guy spends time with his sister and that’s revolutionary????
> 
>  
> 
> **Samantha Maccormick**

> i want him to crush me with those thighs <333333
> 
>  
>
>> **Celia French**
>> 
>> saem
>> 
>> **Zachary Wolfe**
>> 
>> seconded
>> 
>>  

> **Christie Harper**
> 
> the look on his face tho. the look of someone resisting the urge to commit murder

Show more 

 

\--

 

It’s not even his fault the third time.

 It is Tim’s fault, absolutely and irrevocably.

Jason just wanted to get a damn hotdog from the stall across his current apartment. He doesn’t know why his replacement decided to live in Crime Alley as well, but it’s too damn close for Jason’s liking.

Out of all of them, Tim, Mister ‘I have billboards of my face in other countries,’ is by far the media favorite, which considering how awkward the kid actually is, Jason never fails to give him crap about.

Now, he’s kinda regretting that. Karma seems to be an actual thing, and Jason’s definitely not reaping the good kind.

He sees the media absolutely hounding Tim from across the street. Tim has a polite smile on his face, but Jason can tell the kid’s resisting the urge to ninja chop his way out of there.  Jason gives a low chuckle and snaps a couple of photos to send to Steph and Babs.

Apparently, that was enough to get Tim’s attention. His head snaps towards Jason, eyes widening. Then, his face widens into the kind of grin he makes when he knows he’s successfully manipulated an entire government. He says something and a hush seems to fall over the press. Jason doesn’t hear what he says but he can guess.

“God fucking dammit,” he says and makes a run for it, not looking back.

“You forgot you’re hotdog!” the hotdog guy calls out, but  Jason, regrettably, ignores it.

 

\--

 

**Jason**

@jasontodd

I’m tired of all these ‘how are you alive’ questions. No fucking originality. So sit down fuckers who decided to follow me, we’re gonna fucking talk about Pride and Prejudice and why it’s a goddamn literary masterpiece.

Show more of this thread 

 

\--

 

Alfred forces the entire family to go to Vicki Vale’s talk show. Jason tries to beg out of it but only gets a raised eyebrow in response.

 He tries to sneak out too, but Alfred is very definitely omnipotent and turns up at Jason’s apartment a few minutes before Jason was about to leave and hide out with Artemis.

 “The invitation was for the entire family,” Alfred had said, and that had been the end of that. Everyone knows that no one can say no to Alfred.

 Now, Jason is sitting in front of Vicki Vale, squashed on a too-small couch between Dick and Tim. Damian is on another couch beside Cass in the dress she finally settled on after four fucking hours.

 Bruce still looks like someone stole his morning coffee, only now he looks hungover, too. Jason will never not find this hilarious. Vicki Vale looks at all of them, looking downright predatory.

 Jason waits for a world-ending event. Maybe the universe suddenly deciding to break apart, or an alien invasion, a Flash messing with the timeline again, he’s not really picky about it. He just really needs the world to end, right this second. Seriously right this second.

 Nothing happens. Fucking typical. The one time he actually needs the world to end…

 Vicki Vale opens her mouth. The interview starts.

 

\--

 

## WATCH NOW: VICKI VALE INTERVIEW WITH THE WAYNES DEVOLVES INTO WATER GUN FIGHT AND...

 

\--

 

“Congratulations Mr. Todd,” the government worker says, in a bored tone that is endemic to government offices, “you are officially and legally alive again.”

 Jason stares at the certificate pronouncing him alive. Apparently, there’s a lot of legal precedence for people suddenly coming back to life, so they actually have official certificates for it. Personally, Jason blames the Flash family. Though Superman probably had a lot to do with it, too.

“If there’s anything else?” the government worker says, the dismissal clearer than anything Batman could have given. Behind Jason is a long line of people who have also apparently died and come back to life?

 Go figure.

**Author's Note:**

> btw, Jason is using the 240 character version of twitter, just so you know. Yes. This is a detail I was ridiculously concerned with.  
> also the names I used for the comments section are from a random generator, so yeah, any similarities with anyone else is pure coincidence  
> I'm on [tumblr](https://discowlng.tumblr.com)! if y'all want to chat :D


End file.
